I started studying classical piano at 7; unfortunately, I quit at 7:30. Being incarcerated in a Catholic grade school, I was forced at gunpoint to take piano lessons from a nun, and the nuns already knew of me, because on the first day of school, posing as the dry cleaning pick-up boy, I asked the nun who answered the convent door if she had any ‘dirty habits’. My first piano teacher, the evil Sister Mary Snydely McNasty, said she would rap my knuckles with a piece of wood each time I made a mistake, and informed me that each weekly lesson, the size of the wooden stick would get larger.
Six months later, when she could no longer lift that Giant California Redwood, she transferred me to a ‘lay teacher’, and I thought I was finally going to get lucky in a Sex Ed class. But no – Ms. Brunhilda Stravinsky was a sinister taskmaster who actually made me practice. While playing for her, my parents asked how I was progressing, and she said, “Well, he’s playing Beethoven, but it sounds like Choppin’.” And I said, “What’s brown and sits on a piano stool? - - - Beethoven’s Last Movement.” After pushing the upright piano onto Brunhilda, I left to study guitar, where after a chance meeting at a drivers license facility, I was recruited by Pete Best to be the seventh Beatle on the The White Album - not to play an instrument, just to yell “I got blisters on me fingers” in the background on the ‘Number 9’ track so as to be louder than Mia Farrow and her fiancé, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. I began drinking heavily to try to forget that I was alcoholic, and at this low point in my life, my apartment was strewn with half-empty liquor bottles - ‘diminished fifths’.
After a chance meeting with Danny Campos in a mature lesbian women’s dress shop, we decided to form a group, and we named it The Wonders. Our slogan for the band was “If it sounds like a good quality music performance, it’s a Wonder”. We quickly changed the name to The Wanderers after a chance meeting in a deserted circus tent in Baraboo, WI as we roamed and roamed the local area like nomads looking for gigs which never materialized, due to the reputation of our musical ability proceeding us. It was during this period I became known as “Lightning Fingers”, because they never seemed to strike twice in the same place, and also studied with the masters of the left-handed zither, castanets, didjerido, and timbales, giving us much of the sound you hear today. The group eventually evolved into Danny & The Twisters, and we played mostly bar mitzvahs for 22 years until sadly, one of the band members married Yoko Ono after a chance meeting with her at the all-night gay license bureau/Afro wig shop & liquors, and we were forced to quit touring the garages of Chicagoland for about 5 years.
The band reformed after another chance meeting, this time in an abandoned Muslim girdle factory and cheese warehouse, and have continued on through Danny’s untimely passing, evolving into The Twisters, after yet another chance meeting of the 6 of us in the alley behind a U-Store-It self-storage facility on a rainy night in Georgia.
We try to replicate classic oldies music as close as possible to those original CD’s you hear at home. It has been said of our music – “The only difference between their sound and the original is - You can get up and shut off that music at home whenever you want – but The Twisters just keep playing ‘til they’re done, or asked to leave by the management.”
CHECK OUT OUR LIVE PERFORMANCE! PUT ON HEADPHONES OR EARBUDS FOR THE ULTIMATE SOUND EXPERIENCE!